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Writer's pictureKerry

Empowering Change: Using Positive Emotions to Break Free from Deep-Seated Negative Beliefs and Their Defenses

Kerry Jehanne-Guadalupe

 

Beliefs are central to the human experience, impacting everything from how we interpret the world, form our identities, and make decisions to the evolution of consciousness. At their core, beliefs are convictions or acceptances that certain things are true or real, often without needing empirical evidence or proof. They are mental models that influence how we perceive reality, interact with others, approach challenges, and navigate the complexity of life.

 

Beliefs can be based on personal experiences, teachings, traditions, or inherited ideas, and they often serve as a framework for understanding the world around us. Some beliefs empower us, fueling our growth and happiness. Others, however, act as barriers, limiting our potential and keeping us stuck in self-doubt or fear. These negative, deep-seated beliefs often become so embedded in our psyche that we mistake them for truth, unaware of the subtle ways they limit our potential.

 

Often deeply ingrained and reinforced by past experiences, these negative beliefs can feel like immovable obstacles. By understanding the reinforcements that may keep us tethered to negative beliefs, we can begin to shift our perspective and open up to the boundless possibilities that await us.

 

Additionally, there is a powerful force that can help us break free from limiting beliefs—our emotions. Positive emotions have the unique ability to not only uplift our spirits but also to rewire our minds. They can help us break free from the habitual patterns that sustain negative beliefs, shifting our internal state and opening the door to new perspectives. By recognizing the interplay between our mind, body, and emotions, we can harness this connection to transform how we experience life.

 

 

Positive and Negative Beliefs: The Architecture of Our Inner and Outer World

 

Positive and negative beliefs differ primarily in their impact on our thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and overall experience of life.

 

Emotional Impact:

Positive beliefs generate emotions such as hope, joy, confidence, and optimism. They can make us feel empowered and capable of overcoming challenges. For instance, believing "I am worthy of love" promotes self-acceptance and a sense of fulfillment. Negative Beliefs can trigger emotions like fear, doubt, anxiety, or sadness. They often stem from self-limiting views, such as "I will never be successful," which can create emotional stagnation or lead to feelings of despair.

 

Behavioral Consequences:

Positive beliefs encourage proactive behavior, risk-taking, and perseverance. A belief like "I can achieve my goals" drives actions toward success and can motivate us to push through obstacles. Negative Beliefs often lead to inaction, avoidance, or self-sabotage. When we believe "I am not good enough," we may hesitate to take opportunities, reinforcing a cycle of missed potential.

 

Self-Perception:

Positive Beliefs can strengthen our self-worth and confidence. They can help us recognize our strengths and foster a healthy mindset. Negative beliefs can undermine our self-esteem and reinforce feelings of inadequacy or unworthiness, limiting personal growth.

 

Worldview:

Positive Beliefs can shape a more open and optimistic view of the world. We are more likely to see possibilities, abundance, and connections, reinforcing a sense of harmony with the universe. Negative beliefs can lead to a more cynical, limited perspective. They foster a sense of scarcity, division, or isolation, and may heighten feelings of distrust or resistance toward others.

 

In essence, positive beliefs are expansive, empowering, and growth-oriented. Positive beliefs are easy to reaffirm and tend to be more in alignment with our higher truth. They can feel light and weightless as they don't have an arsenal of mechanisms to keep them in place. They are straightforward and tend not to be multilayered and complicated.

 

In contrast, negative beliefs are constrictive, disempowering, and limiting. They often stem from past experiences, societal conditioning, or internalized fears. Negative beliefs often become self-fulfilling prophecies, limiting personal growth, relationships, and opportunities for success.

 

Here are some examples of negative beliefs that people may hold about themselves, others, or the world:

 

Self-Limiting Beliefs:

  • "I'm not smart enough."

  • "I will never be successful."

  • "I don’t deserve happiness or love."

  • "I always fail, so why bother trying?"

  • "I’m not attractive enough to find a partner."

 

Beliefs about Others:

  • "People can't be trusted."

  • "Everyone is out to get me."

  • "No one understands or cares about me."

  • "Men/Women are always unfaithful."

 

Beliefs about the World:

·      "Life is unfair, and nothing ever goes right."

·      "There’s no point in trying because the system is rigged."

·      "The world is a dangerous and hostile place."

·      "Only the rich and powerful have opportunities."

 

Beliefs about Change and Growth:

  • "People can’t really change."

  • "It’s too late for me to learn or start over."

  • "I’m stuck in my situation, and there’s no way out."

 

 

Self-Perpetuating

 

Beliefs carry within them a natural tendency to reinforce and sustain themselves. This is essential, as without it, their effects wouldn't manifest in our lives. Continuity is key; if our beliefs change from moment to moment, having a lived experience of a particular belief would be difficult. Without this self-sustaining element, they wouldn't last long enough to shape our ongoing experiences. Continuousness allows the belief to endure and shape our lives.

 

The persistence of a belief relies on our moment-by-moment reaffirmation. For the belief to remain part of our experience, some part of us needs to accept the belief as true. From this acceptance, we can experience the belief in different contexts and over a period of time. If we believe that we are less than others, we can experience this belief in various settings, such as at home, at work, and in our free time. The belief can be reinforced in different contexts, leaving us convinced, "Everywhere I go, I feel less than others."

 

 

Reinforcements

 

Knowing how they can be self-perpetuating is sometimes helpful in the process of releasing negative beliefs. One way negative beliefs perpetuate is by having a sidekick, a seemingly powerful buddy that tags along with them as a backup. Such reinforcements can convince us that we can’t release the belief for various reasons. Reinforcements perpetuating negative beliefs act as psychological defenses or rationalizations, keeping us trapped in limiting thought patterns. These reinforcements, which are beliefs themselves, form a kind of "support system" for negativity, making it harder to break free. For example:

 

Belief: If I open up, I’ll get hurt.

Reinforcement: It’s better to stay guarded and avoid getting hurt.

 

Negative beliefs can feel super tenacious and unbudging because of these reinforcements. While positive beliefs can feel weightless, negative beliefs can feel heavy. The weight is partly the heaviness of the belief itself and partly the reinforcement that holds it firmly in place. The reinforcements can make negative beliefs feel like they have a life of their own; somehow, they are in charge of the belief, and they determine the belief's existence and fate. They can give us a false notion of not having a choice but to keep the limiting belief.  

 

Identifying the reinforcements to the negative beliefs is like shining a spotlight on them with the intent to diminish their strength. It is easier to mindlessly capitulate to reinforcements when they are working in the background. The more we detect them, the less likely we succumb to the so-called logic of the reinforcement. Though there are many, here are some common reinforcements that help keep negative beliefs in place:

 

1.    Reinforcement: Survival Mechanism

 

Some negative beliefs have fear-based reinforcements that connect with our survival instincts. The reinforcement is trying to keep us safe and alive. Such reinforcements will convince us, beyond all reason, that if we change a particular belief, we will not be safe.  

 

Belief: I cannot think positive thoughts.

Reinforcement: I must keep my fear-based negative thinking because that kind of thinking keeps me safe. I need to be hypervigilant in order to survive.

 

Belief: It’s safer to stay where I am, even if I’m unhappy.

Reinforcement: I’m used to feeling this way; at least I know how to navigate life with this feeling. This is familiar, known, and therefore safe.

 

2.    Reinforcement: The Belief is Unchangeable 

 

Some limiting beliefs have a reinforcement convincing us that the belief is unchangeable, fixed in place, and fore

ver permanent.

 

Belief: This is just who I am; I can't change. I was born this way.

Reinforcement: At least I have some sense of who I am, even if it is false. That way, I survive.

 

Sometimes, this reinforcement behaves by having us identify with negative beliefs. We can’t change the negative belief, because without it, we won’t have an identity. Can we falsely believe that there is no other identity out there for us; this is the only one in the entirety of the universe. If the belief is who we are, then without it, we are nothing. We will be nothing within the vastness of empty space. If we let this belief die, we will die, which ties into the survival reinforcement mentioned above.

 

To convince us that a belief is unchangeable, eternal, and everlasting, the reinforcement has to be skillful because our higher self knows the absolute truth of what is unchangeable, eternal, and everlasting, and it is definitely not beliefs. Our higher selves know we are worthy. It knows our truth, beyond all negative beliefs, and it clearly sees the tricks of the reinforcements.

 

3.    Reinforcement: Something Worse Will Happen if I Change this Belief

 

One way a reinforcement will work is to convince us that it is safer to believe a limiting belief like I am unlovable, than to explore whether it is true or not. As long as we believe the limiting belief, then there is a slight doubt that it is untrue. If we go looking, the reinforcement tells us that we might find out that it is entirely true, so it is best to keep the negative belief and the corresponding glimmer of doubt. The glimmer of doubt makes such a negative belief survivable – if we find out that we really are unlovable, well, we might not survive that at all. This reinforcement, like the one that convinces us that a belief is unchangeable, can combine with the reinforcement of survival. Together, these reinforcements will convince us that it is too dangerous to prove that the negative belief is untrue.

 

Belief: If I don't know with certainty that I can succeed, it's not worth doing something challenging because if I'm not perfect, I'm a failure.

Reinforcement: If I try and don’t succeed, something worse will happen – I will be a failure and an outcast. People will judge me if I make mistakes. Best I don’t try. 

 

Belief: I don't deserve better. Other people deserve happiness or success more than I do.

Reinforcement: If I try to prove that I am worthy, I might find out I am not. Then my life will be worse. It is best to believe others are more worthy.

 

4.    Reinforcement: Reward

 

Some reinforcements to negative beliefs are positive reinforcements. Such reinforcements can be very deceptive, crafty, and stealthy. A subconscious psychological or emotional "reward" to a negative belief can make it difficult to let go of the belief, even though the belief itself is harmful. These rewards tend to involve comfort, protection, or avoidance of perceived risks. The reward reinforcement can often correspond to the other reinforcements listed above.

 

Belief: I’m not capable of success.

Reward: By believing this, we can avoid taking risks or trying new things, thus avoiding the potential pain of failure or disappointment. The reward is the comfort of not having to face the anxiety or stress that comes with attempting something new or challenging.

 

Belief: I can’t change my situation; it’s out of my control.

Reward: This belief allows us to avoid taking action, sidestepping the responsibility of making difficult decisions, or taking initiative to improve our lives. The reward is the avoidance of discomfort that comes with taking control or making changes.

 

Belief: If I am vulnerable, I’ll get hurt. If I show my true self, people will leave me.

Reward: By maintaining this belief, we can protect ourselves from potential emotional pain, rejection, or disappointment, maintaining stability, even if it’s inauthentic. The rewards are emotional safety and perceived security of relationships, even though it may limit the possibility of forming deeper, more meaningful connections.

 

Belief: I'm a failure, and I can't do anything right.

Reward: This belief may align with our existing self-image, and changing it would require re-evaluating our entire sense of self. The reward is consistency and certainty, even if it’s rooted in a harmful identity. Letting go may involve facing uncertainty and restructuring our self-concept, which can be uncomfortable.

 

Negative Belief: I’m always struggling, and things never go my way.

Reward: In some cases, holding onto this belief can bring sympathy or attention from others, as people may offer support or validation for our struggles. The reward is social validation, attention, or connection, even if it’s in a context of difficulty.

 

These rewards, while providing short-term comfort or protection, may keep us stuck in cycles that hinder our growth, happiness, and potential.

 

Reinforcements Acting Together

 

These reinforcing beliefs can form a mental barrier, making it harder to challenge and dissolve the core negative beliefs that can limit our growth and fulfillment. Sometimes, the reinforcements to a negative belief act alone, which is sufficient to keep the belief in place. Other times, the reinforcements act as buddies to each other: “Hey, this person thinks there is a choice, that a belief can be changed.” Then another reinforcement will rise and say, “Yup, that is changeable, but if you do that, you will die. Best not let go of this belief.”

 

The beliefs, along with their reinforcements, can start to feel like a prison. One wall of the prison says that we will die if we change the belief. Another wall says that the belief is unchangeable, regardless of whether we will live or die. We can believe that there is no way out as the reinforcements act as prison guards, and our world can feel like it is getting smaller and smaller. We can believe there is no life outside the prison – even if the cell is in the vast, infinite universe of endless possibilities.

 

Navigating by the Stars Instead of Road Signs

 

If someone comes along and challenges our negative beliefs (you are beautiful; you are enough) our minds might not be able to comprehend the truth of such statements because the reinforcements are so good at their jobs. They have PhDs in convincing us of untruths. We might not only reject the positive statements, but we might also think the other person doesn't know what they are talking about. When we are listening from a limited place, a place of separation, a place of believing falsities, the truth itself appears false and easily debunked. The reinforcements will provide all the reasons we believe we are not enough; we are not beautiful.

 

Yet, our superpower is knowing that the university that issued the PhDs to the reinforcements is not accredited. It is a limited university that is not open to the infinite universe of possibilities. The more we can identify the reinforcements, the more power we have. The more we can call out their methods, the less likely they will persuade us to capitulate.

 

And yet…

 

I wish I could say that all we need to know is that the reinforcements exist and how they work. However, when we are about to break through a belief, the reinforcements may become more insidious, steering us even further away from a positive belief. Sometimes, when we are in the process of breaking through, the reinforcements might set up speedbumps or misleading road signs on our path, such as false warning signs we are about to fall off a cliff. Things might even appear worse than they ever have been; not only amplified, but magnified. This can be a good sign that we are about to break through the limiting belief.

 

This can be a crucial moment to ignore the misleading signals of impending danger and instead chart a new course, guided by the wisdom of our hearts—like navigating by the stars instead of road signs. The more we recognize the light of our hearts amidst the darkness, those sparks of hope leading to empowering beliefs, the more we can draw that light into us until we understand that we are that light. The irrationality of the reinforcements can’t hold a candle to our hearts.

 

The Power of Positive Emotions in Shifting Negative Beliefs

 

There are many ways to connect with our hearts, such as meditation, art, dance, prayer, play, breathwork, and being of service to others. The practice of feeling positive emotions, such as joy, love, and gratitude, is not about bypassing difficult emotions that need to be felt but establishing a new emotional baseline.

 

If we feel resistant to feeling positive emotions, there might be one or several reinforcements convincing us that positive emotions have nothing to do with changing beliefs or that it is not safe or appropriate to feel positive emotions. Exploring resistance to feeling positive emotions can sometimes lead us directly into the last stronghold of a reinforcement. It can be imperative to examine any resistance to feeling positive emotions because in order to change a belief, we frequently need to change our energy. We can change our energy by feeling positive emotions.

 

Beliefs have an emotional and physical component to them. The thoughts we think from the beliefs we have, and the corresponding emotions we feel, create chemical signals our bodies grow accustomed to. Our bodies can be so conditioned to receive specific chemical signals that our cells will crave them if they are absent. For instance, if we’ve harbored resentment for an extended period, our bodies may grow accustomed to the chemical responses tied to that emotion. When the chemical signals of resentment diminish, the body might signal the brain, prompting thoughts and feelings of resentment to restore its familiar state. As a result, the brain continues to rely on deeply ingrained neural pathways associated with those thought patterns.

 

The mind, body, and emotions are intricately connected and inseparable. We can harness this connection to help shift deeply rooted negative beliefs. By consciously working to change our emotional state, we can significantly impact both our physical body and thought patterns. This is why cultivating a baseline of positive emotions is essential for transforming negative beliefs.

 

Feeling positive emotions can help release negative beliefs by shifting our internal state and perspective. When we feel positive emotions like joy, gratitude, or love, our brain releases chemicals like dopamine and serotonin. These chemicals not only make us feel good in the moment but also create new neural pathways that reinforce positive thoughts and patterns. Over time, the brain learns to prioritize these positive pathways over negative ones, weakening the hold of limiting beliefs.

 

Positive emotions naturally broaden our thought patterns and help us shift our focus. When we feel positive emotions, our mind opens up to new possibilities, perspectives, and solutions. This expanded mental state makes it easier to challenge the rigid, often narrow beliefs that can keep us stuck in negativity. Additionally, positive emotions can direct our attention toward what's working well in our lives. Focusing on positive aspects of our experiences reduces the mental bandwidth given to negative beliefs. This shift in focus weakens the energy and attention fueling negative beliefs, allowing them to dissipate.

 

Positive emotions encourage affirming thoughts like "I am capable" or "I am worthy." These empowering beliefs directly challenge and overwrite negative ones. As we consistently feel positive emotions, our subconscious begins to adopt these empowering beliefs as the new default.

 

Positive emotions act as emotional buffers. When we're in a positive emotional state, we become more resilient and better equipped to handle challenges. This resilience allows us to look at negative beliefs objectively rather than reactively, making it easier to question and release them.

 

From a more spiritual or energetic standpoint, emotions are considered vibrational frequencies. Negative beliefs are often tied to lower vibrational emotions like fear or doubt. Feeling positive emotions like gratitude or love elevates our vibrational state, making it harder for lower-vibration beliefs to persist. Over time, as we maintain higher vibrations, negative beliefs naturally fall away because they are incompatible with our new emotional reality.

 

The consistent experience of positive emotions rewires our minds, bodies, and energy systems, helping to dissolve limiting beliefs over time and allowing for a more expanded, empowered view of reality. We might be conditioned to a limiting belief but not forever confined by it. The power of our hearts is much stronger, wiser, and brighter than any limiting belief.  



 

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